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Sunil
Debbarma wants to marry his girlfriend the way his father wedded
his wife - by serving her mother's family. A young man,
according to the traditional marriage practices followed by most
tribes in India's northeastern Tripura state, has to serve his
prospective bride's family if he wants to marry her. Tribals
represent approximately 33 percent of Tripura's more than three
million people.
 The
boy remains in the girl's house to prove his competence and
patience for a mutually agreed period of time which generally
runs from six months to one year. If he complies and is found
fit in all respects his parents are asked to fix the date to
solemnize marriage.
The custom is called "Jamai Utha."
If
the girl's parents refuse to marry off their daughter to the
boy, no compensation is paid to him for services rendered. The
rationale behind the marriage practice is to assess the boy's
capacity to shoulder the responsibility of caring for the girl.
The couple is not allowed to mix freely before the marriage, a
rule that is sometimes broken.
"Despite
strict diktat, there are instances where the boy and girl
developed a physical relationship," said Upendra Reang, who
went through Jamai Utha to get the woman he wanted to marry.
The
test continues even after marriage. The groom serves his wife's
family for a certain period, a contract of sorts known as "Jamai
Katha." Here, tribal social rules are even stricter. Any
breach of the arrangement could entail compensation being paid
by either of the parties. However, the groom has the option of
avoiding the practice by paying an amount to the girl's family.
"Dying
Tradition?"
Many, including several tribal intellectuals, support the
customary marriage practice and people like Sunil Debbarma say
it is an opportunity to resurrect the languishing tradition.
"We should try to preserve it, let there be no change in
tribal traditions," he said. However, Debbarma and other
like-minded persons are fighting an uphill battle. Experts say
the old marriage method in tribal society is gradually dying due
to the spread of urban culture.
Some postulate that customary practices, including Jamai Utha
and Jamai Katha, ensure a woman's higher status in society.
"Tribal women are respected in tribal society. While
womenfolk in other societies are subject to inhuman humiliation
and torture on flimsy grounds like not having a male child,
tribal women enjoy freedom," tribal leader Rabindra
Debbarma declared. |
